Jacey Verdicchio - A Children's Author

Any basic study of human psychology will reveal a need for all people to feel important.  Dale Carnegie writes about being credited as an excellent conversationalist simply by listening to another for the space of several hours.  He also writes about admitting that he could be wrong and often is, graciously giving the other person the benefit of the doubt and allowing him to “save face.”  When people are respected, listened to, admired, considered an expert on something, (anything,) they feel important.

The desire and need to be important can emerge in unflattering and sometimes nasty behavior.  In middle school and high school, cliques form and outcasts are ignored and despised so that those inside can feel more important than those without.  In adulthood, the same behavior is subtly shrouded by political correctness and perfunctory politeness.  When a child senses he cannot gain importance by doing the right things, he does the wrong things in a desperate attempt for recognition.  The party guest who talks too loud, too much, and only about herself is not so arrogant as she appears, just looking for a little validation.

And then of course there are the not-so obvious examples.  I recently heard from author and speaker Andy Andrews that good answers result from good questions.  So here’s a good question: what are you doing or saying habitually primarily to reinforce your importance in the world?  It’s a question worth asking and asking again because asserting your own importance is generally self serving even if your stated intent is to help someone else.

Here’s the other side of the coin: you ARE important.  Be confident in who you are and your unique role.  In God’s family, we are members of the household but we are members in particular.  Each of us brings something valuable that no one else can.  You are already important.

Jesus Christ knew who he was, and therefore he willfully made himself a servant, an example of true humility before his Father.  He served his Father and those around him without feeling the need to assert his own importance.  He taught people who he was as the Son of God because it was his Father’s will, not a self-centered need to assert himself.  He washed his disciples’ feet to teach them to serve one another (John 13:5-17).

Some desire positions of leadership to feel important.  Real leaders, the type that can lead other great leaders, serve.  Consequently, they are admired, respected, listened to, and viewed as experts in their fields.  True leadership is impossible if a feeling of importance is the objective.

An infinitely better question than “How can I be important?” is “How can I serve God and others?”  A better question always leads to a better answer.