Jacey Verdicchio - A Children's Author

I just read a story about the impact a teacher made on her students.  Noticing that her class was cranky one afternoon, she diverted their attention by having each student write their names on the top of a sheet of paper.  Then, the students wrote something complimentary on each of their classmates’ sheets.  In the end, each student had a list of compliments.  The activity had accomplished its purpose in redirecting the students, and was set aside.

Years later, the teacher got news that Mark, one of her students in that class, had been killed in Vietnam.  His parents asked the teacher to attend his funeral.  After the funeral, his parents showed her the wallet he was wearing when he died.  Inside was the list of kind things his classmates had written about him all those years before.  Several other students from the class were in attendance.  They had also kept their lists.  One man had even asked his wife to put it in their wedding album!  The story touched me because it communicated the value of praise, encouragement and appreciation.

A friend and I were discussing this topic and she told me about a letter she had written to her band teacher.  Band had contributed to her growth beyond the musical abilities she acquired, and she wrote a heartfelt letter thanking her band teacher.  Years later, his wife tearfully thanked her for the letter when they saw each other at the grocery store.   She said they had framed the letter.

I vividly remember certain compliments.  Oftentimes, a comment about a certain quality has spurred me on to further develop that strength.  It’s amazing the confidence we can engender in someone by pointing out an area of strength.  Even though I’m sure the people complimenting me could see I had much room for improvement, the praise gave me permission to define myself as that type of person and to make faster, more confident strides toward developing my personality in that area.  Tell people they already are what you see potential for them to become, and they will believe you.

So often, we neglect to tell people how important they are and we neglect to point out their strengths and areas of contribution.  It can be difficult to express emotional or personal thoughts, especially if the relationship doesn’t normally have open and acknowledged depth.  But it is so important that we take the time to appreciate each other and to build each other up at every opportunity.

There were sentiments voiced and written to Mike and I when we moved that came as a shock to me.  There were people I had no idea cared as much as they did or appreciated things I had done so much until I was leaving, and I know there were people I neglected to communicate my love and appreciation for until we said goodbye.  That experience made me consider deeply the benefit of letting people know right now, today, what they mean to myself and others.

If this post reminds you of a Hallmark card or a Lifetime movie, I apologize.  I don’t know how to say it another way.  What I do know is that people cherish compliments and appreciation, and it costs very little for us to notice others and speak up when we can.  Genuine praise and appreciation for one another can change the trajectory of someone’s day, and, ultimately, someone’s life.