Jacey Verdicchio - A Children's Author

It’s hard to write something authentic and heartfelt without sounding cliche.  I think it’s because some things are universal, and we’ve been trained ahead of time to think of them with the same words and expressions of those before us.  Carl Jung called it the collective unconscious, the natural way our minds organize the human experience.

Marriage in some form is universal, so it’s hard to write about it without falling back on the cultural crutches.  It’s also deeply personal and no two are alike.  Three years is such a short time, but here are a few observations about marriage from the only perspective I have, which is mine:

• Laughing goes a long way.
• Never assume you know what your spouse is thinking; always ask.
• Seek God individually and together.
• Find out what’s most important to your spouse and seek to excel at those things.
• Verbally appreciate each others’ roles.
• Trade off choosing movies, or at least 2 to 1.
• Don’t let your mood change based on your spouse’s mood - if he is down, he needs you to lift him up, not join the pity party.
• There is no such thing as a “perfect” husband or wife, so don’t try to be that.
• Remember that you picked him, and he picked you.
• You’re on the same team, so work together and always give the credit to your spouse.  He is always the VIP.
• When your spouse tells you about a problem he’s having, wait for an invitation before offering your opinion or advice.
• Always be on the same page about money, no matter how many conversations it takes.
• Be willing to change your mind.
• Always err on the side of too much praise, not too much criticism.
• Give 100% no matter what your spouse brings to the table.
• Don’t go to bed mad.  It just results in a lot of sighing and tossing and turning.

Some of those definitely sounded cliche, but truth never loses its power even if it’s repetitive.  I heard many of these things before getting married, but I have experienced them as true in three short years of marriage.