Get what you need, have more to give

get what you need, have more to give


We know it’s dangerous to compare ourselves to others, but we still do it. Usually we compare our weaknesses with someone else’s strengths. I’ve been thinking about the alarming number of ways we compare ourselves as I try to break the habit myself, and I became aware of yet another point of comparison: our needs.

Here’s what I mean:

Some of us need more sleep.

Some of us take longer to get things done.

Some of us need more information before we act.

Some of us need more encouragement.

Some of us need more time alone.

Some of us need to hear something repeated several times before we understand.

Some of us need counseling and medication for our emotional and mental health.

Some of us need to eat more regularly.

Some of us can take bad news in stride, and some of us carry it for awhile.

Some of us need more quality time with the people we love.

Some of us need more hugs.

And it’s okay.

It’s okay if I need more sleep or alone time than my neighbor, and those needs don’t make me selfish or weak. I’ll have more to give if I’m honest and deliberate about what I need, because I won’t burn out.

Question: Have you ever felt weak or selfish for having needs different than other people?

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2 thoughts on “Get what you need, have more to give

  1. I have definitely felt selfish, and also guilty for asking for what I need (or else I don’t get it and end up making myself and those around me miserable!) I think understanding exactly what you’ve written here is a big part of maturing in both friendships and a marriage relationship, and it still feels like I’m figuring it out sometimes! It’s just so easy to assume that everyone reacts to things the same way I do.

    1. Sarah, I’m with you on still figuring it out! I imagine as a mom it’s even easier to neglect your own needs since you are constantly meeting the needs of little ones.

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