5 things our marriage needs every day

5 things our marriage needs everyday


In honor of our 5th anniversary last month, I’m gradually sharing a series of “five lists.” This one is five things our marriage needs everyday:

A real conversation: Between our phones and TV, we can spend hours next to each other in a day without having a real conversation. Talking without distractions helps us know what the other is thinking.

I usually have a lot brewing beneath the surface and daily conversations keep me from retreating into myself. Drifting apart is such a common reason for divorce, and regular communication fights the pattern of living separate lives under the same roof.

Words of affirmation: Let’s be honest, most of us don’t speak that kindly to ourselves, unless we’re making a really conscious effort.

We might be beating ourselves up, or even hearing unkind words from others. When Mike says, “I’m proud of you” for no apparent reason, he yanks me out my own head and reminds me that I should proud of myself, too.

Hugs: Mike’s primary love language is physical touch, so a hug is the best way to communicate love to him. Hugs also reconnect us when we’re passing each other in the midst of busy days, distracted by our responsibilities.

Laughter: One of my favorite parts of our marriage is our inside jokes. If you know Mike, you know that he has a great sense of humor. I’m really delighted and proud of myself when I make him laugh since he’s typically the funny one. A good laugh together does so much to bolster our relationship and improve our days.

Unexpected favors: The household runs so much more smoothly when we’re trying to do more than expected. Small favors like doing dishes when it’s not my turn or taking an extra dog walk on his busy day cost little but communicate much.

What does your marriage need on a daily basis?

2 thoughts on “5 things our marriage needs every day

  1. I am loving your 5 years/5 things posts! These are definitely true in my marriage as well, although I must admit we’re not always good about making sure they happen. I think you make a really good point about words of affirmation — they go a long way in building up the confidence and self-worth of the person they are said to. I know I can get pretty stingy with my words of praise, especially when I don’t feel like my husband is pulling his load with housework or the kids, but withholding praise just makes him feel crummy and even less likely to want to help out!

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